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Saturday, April 14, 2012

Mike Tyson: America's Tone Setter

A lot of people have e-mailed me privately to ask, "Hey, Matt, why hasn't GEP weighed in on the Trayvon Martin thing yet?" Well, first of all, is Snooki involved in any way, because if she isn't, I probably don't have much to say about it on this particular Web site. And second of all, why should I say anything when Mike Tyson summed up my feelings--and I assume yours, dear readers--in an interview with Yahoo News this week:

"My personal feeling is that, as a young kid that was beat on by a bully, that was pretty much singled out—the guy [Zimmerman] stalked him, didn't follow instructions from a superior officer, when they said, 'Stop following the kid.' That tells you everything right there. But my all-around perspective, I wasn't there, I don't know what happened. But it's just so widespread and overt what happened.
Even though this is the best country in the world, certain laws in this country are a disgrace to a nation of savages. It's a majority versus a minority. That's the way God planned it. He didn't want to do something about it, He wanted us to do something about it. And if we don't, it's gonna stay this way. We have to continue tweeting, we have to continue marching, we have to continue fighting for Trayvon Martin. If that's not the case, he was killed in vain, and we're just waiting for it to happen to our children. He'll have gotten away with impunity. It's a disgrace that man hasn't been dragged out of his house and tied to a car and taken away. That's the only kind of retribution that people like that understand. It's a disgrace that man hasn't been shot yet. Forget about him being arrested--the fact that he hasn't been shot yet is a disgrace. That's how I feel personally about it."

Mike Tyson always says what everybody's thinking and that's why he's such a national treasure.

I'm actually being a little facetious, for you first time readers. I do that quite often, sometimes to humorous effect. Certainly I think George Zimmerman needs to answer for his senseless crime, but as far as it being a "disgrace" that he hasn't yet been shot and killed himself or dragged behind a vehicle for an extended period of time, I'm not so sure. I'm actually quite proud of the American public for keeping their emotions in check and not resorting to more senseless, stupid acts of aggression.

I guess the reason I'm highlighting Tyson's thoughts on this story is twofold. First of all, why is Mike Tyson ever asked his opinion on anything? He's a violent weirdo with a rapey past, right? Sure, he talks funny and loves pigeons and he sang that Phil Collins song in The Hangover, but he's still mostly a creep. Right? I mean, who cares what a funny-talking, punchy creep has to say about the latest news stories? I don't.

Secondly, this story isn't shocking to anyone, is it? Mike Tyson saying something crazy? I'm sure this happens a lot more than we even know. The entire rambling statement, with its pseudo-religious gobbledygook at the front and its call for violent retribution on the back end, makes little to no sense. Read it again. Slowly. Brain hurt yet?

In summation, Mike Tyson shouldn't be asked about anything other than boxing, pigeons, and what human flesh tastes like. He shouldn't be allowed to talk about anything else, especially hot button news stories. Or tattoos.

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