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Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Most Ridiculous Moments in Saved by the Bell History: Part 1

1. Kevin the Robot: Screech had a robot, so what?  Well, how about the fact that it is probably one of the most sophisticated examples of artificial intelligence in television history.  Kevin felt the gamut of human emotions, interacted flawlessly with the SBTB gang, and was apparently constructed and programmed by a social outcast who grew increasingly dumber as the series progressed.  I'm not suggesting that Kevin's existence is impossible, I'm emphatically stating that fact.  Kevin is a lovable extension of early-Screech's lovable geekiness, but his presence makes suspension of disbelief nearly impossible for me.  Zach has a closet full of elaborate, mostly female, costumes he readily dons when the need to spy on his friends arises?  Sure, why not.  Slater is the captain of literally every single sports team at Bayside High School?  Of course he is.  Screech built a robot? DOES NOT COMPUTE!  DOES NOT COMPUTE! ERROR! ERROR!

2. Slater's "dance": Man, the producers of SBTB sure let Mario Lopez show off his dance moves a lot.  Too bad they were the same three or four moves every time.  Really, Kelly?  This is what you want happening next to you at the dance contest?  You do know American treasure Casey Kasem will be watching, right?

3. Zack owns and regularly uses a ham radio:  Bullshit.

4. Buddy Bands: In "The Friendship Business," the gang is assigned to start a business and sell crap to their fellow students.  Zack and his friends decided to manufacture and sell friendship bracelets, which were the style at the time.  Zack eventually gets drunk with power and his friends abandon him to start a new business and sell a new product.  That product: Buddy Bands, the friendship bracelet for your forehead.  Not only do Buddy Bands look totes bitchin', but they apparently get you tons of hot chicks. The student body goes gaga for Buddy Bands (really?) and Zack quickly finds himself out of business. It all works out in the end or whatever, but we're still asked to believe that at least for a little while,  colorful headbands were totally the hip, new trend.

5. Lisa's birthday wish: It's understood from the very beginning of the series that Zack is the cool guy, Jessie is the overachiever, Slater is the jock, Kelly is the girl-next-door, Screech is the insufferable geek and Lisa is the rich girl.  And as the rich girl, Lisa demands the finer things in life.  In Season 3's "The Aftermath" (one of my favorite episodes, by the way), Lisa reveals to her friends her ultimate birthday wish: MC Hammer.  Not an MC Hammer cassette or an MC Hammer performance at her birthday party, but MC Hammer himself.  Lisa Turtle wants a human being for her birthday.  Ridiculous!

6.  The Bayside driver's ed car is a golf cart: ...and the students learn the delicate art of vehicular operation by driving said golf cart AROUND ORANGE CONES.  INDOORS.

7-8. Lisa's ridiculous fashions/Zack and Lisa's single episode romance: Beautifully present in one smooth-lookin' clip.

Stay tuned.  There are so many more ridiculous moments to remember in the coming weeks.


Gabe Sealey-Morris said...

This list seems unfair. Was there ever a moment on Saved By the Bell that wasn't ridiculous? I mean, how can you even sort them all out?

Matt said...

Trust me, Gabe, I have compiled a huge list. And it was extremely difficult to sort them all out, but I gave it my best effort. Someone had to. Right? Please, assure me that someone had to, otherwise I'm going to be super depressed.