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Friday, June 29, 2012

The Most Ridiculous Moments in Saved by the Bell History: Part 3: Comic Book Cover Edition

I can't remember if I've mentioned it or not, but I am a big Saved by the Bell fan.  Sure, it's mostly completely stupid, but for me at least, it is a massive cultural touchstone.  

But being a big fan doesn't mean that I'm some kind of "fanboy."  Sure, I watch Saved by the Bell occasionally and I write about it on my snarky pop culture blog and, sure, I had a poster of Kelly Kapowski on my wall throughout middle school and, of course, I own a couple packs of Saved by the Bell trading cards, but that doesn't make me some kind of "weirdo," does it?  I mean, we all have packs of SBTB trading cards stashed away somewhere, right?

Look, I don't write SBTB fan fiction or anything, even though I have a couple of great ideas (Zack as an astronaut!  Slater is zapped back in time by Screech and Kevin's time travel laser and is forced into a series of gladiator fights!  Kelly and I go on a date to Cici's Pizza!), I just like the show.  I don't own a Bayside Tigers t-shirt (I know you're shocked to hear that, Jonathan), I don't have any of the Saved by the Bell action figures, and I'd never even heard of the Saved by the Bell comic book until this morning.

At the height of program's popularity, Harvey Comics produced a handful of Saved by the Bell books, and from the looks of the covers, they were pure shit. 

Zack gets "racing fever?"  That could be good?

If there's one thing comic book geeks and pre-teen Saturday morning sit-com fans love more than anything it's partying.  Give that party a political theme, and you've got a comic worth spending your shitty allowance on.  This also appears to be the first appearance of Screech's magic paintbrush, one of my favorite characters from the show. 
This might be my favorite cover.  First of all, who the hell is that sitting at Mr. Belding's desk?  It sure as shit isn't Mr. Belding.  He looks like some slick Wall Street fat cat.  Lame.  Also, what happened to Zack's face?  I think we can all agree that Mark-Paul Gosselaar is a five-alarm hottie (right?), but this drawing make him looks like a pile of garbage.  And where is Jessie?  And why do the female characters go on to lucrative careers (soldier, model, safari guide), while the guys end up doing nothing (nutcase with bucket on head, weird-looking guy, pointing enthusiast)?  This cover is a complete mess. I love it.
This issue seems kind of sketchy, and I don't mean that it's full of drawings (hyuck!).  Why are Kelly, Jesssie, and Lisa the entertainment at a bachelor party?  They're high school students.  I like the emphasis on healthy eating, but the hiring of underage strippers is all kinds of creepy.

1 comment:

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