Man oh man! Saved by the Bell Month just will not end, will it? I suppose I could make it stop, after all, I do have all the power here, but I'm still enjoying myself, so if you're still enjoying yourself, we may as well enjoy ourselves together and wrap this thing up. Or never wrap it up and make Saved by the Bell something we regularly check in on from time to time. We'll see. For now, let's dive into the final chapter in the Dark Jeff Saga, "Fake I.D.'s."
Every television show with a predominately teenaged cast does a a fake license episode. I think it is required by TV law, widely considered the most stringent code of law in existence. When the time comes, you cram a fake ID into your characters' pockets and see what happens. Usually it isn't good and often a lesson is learned.
I'm not sure that there is any significant lesson learned in "Fake I.D.'s." If there is, it's probably, "if you're going to make a fake ID in photography class and use it to hang out in an 18+ nightclub, don't stay out too late, because you'll probably fall asleep in class the next morning." I mean, this club Zack, Slater and Screech hit, The Attic, is pretty tame. Nobody offers the boys alcohol and there doesn't seem to be any drugs on the premises. The worst that might happen is a stale bowl of corn chips at your table (Yes, The Attic provides Doritos to their patrons at no charge. Pretty sweet.). So, yeah, I guess the lesson is don't stay up too terribly late. Good advice, actually.
Anyway, Zack helps a college student fix her tire and suggests that he too is attending USC. The girl, Danielle, invites Zack to a local dance club, The Attic. Zack gives Screech the task of making fake IDs during Mr. Belding's photography class, in which it is hammered further into our skulls how much Kelly loves her boyfriend/boss, Jeff (Her photography project is called Portraits of My Guy. Gag.).
Zack, Slater and Screech, who is wearing a fake mustache for some never explained reason, get into The Attic without a hitch and who do they see face deep in some slutty, bleach-blonde tramp? That's right: Jeff.
I'd like to point out real quick that The Attic seems like the most boring dance club on the planet. I've never been to an actual club, but I've seen enough of them on various reality shows to know that they are sweaty, dark, and scary. They look like neon-colored cattle cars; disease farms with Skrillex blasting from every conceivable angle; damp piles of drug-addled humanity undulating and melting into one another. Ick. The Attic is clean, quiet, and almost utterly devoid of people. Couple this with the all-you-can eat Doritos, and I think I'd like to hang out there.
The boys tell Jessie and Lisa about Jeff, and everyone elects Zack to break the news to Kelly for some reason. Zack tells Kelly, Kelly calls Zack a "maggot-mouthed liar," and Kelly attempts to make weekend plans with Jeff, who lies in the classic, unconvincing sitcom style.
In the final act, everyone converges on The Attic (Screech has graduated to a fake Z Z Top beard by this point.). Kelly catches Jeff in the act and Zack gets busted by his mommy. Jeff apparently stumbles into some kind of black hole or something after leaving The Attic because he is never heard from again.
Fantasy Sequence: N/A
Totally Ridiculous (1): After breaking up with Jeff, Kelly retreats to the ladies room for a little scream therapy, Jessie and Lisa in tow. Zack's mom shows up shortly afterward to escort Zack, Slater and Screech home...LEAVING THE GIRLS BEHIND WITH NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER!
Totally Ridiculous (2): As the episode opens, Screech is studying a camera as if it is some kind of ancient artifact that he cannot figure out, like one of those 2001 monkeys or whatever.
Screech: The Attic? That sounds like fun. There could be bats up there!