What started in a humble basement/laundry room/man cave/place for a cat to shit in a box has moved on to bigger and, well, let's just stick with bigger, things! That's right: Giant Electric Penguin Inc. outgrew our old digs and has set up shop in the swanky downtown building you see above. I chose it for its "funky vibe." You wouldn't believe the acoustics! Or the size of the roaches! But, hey, it's got plenty of electrical outlets (most of which still work sometimes!) and I gots it cheap. I'm pleased as punch to call this charming fixer-upper GEP's new home.
Here's my new assistant, Bernie, showing off GEP's new, state-of-the-art phone system. Sure, Bernie will probably use it to call sex chat lines during one of the twenty-seven breaks he takes each day, but at least it's equipped with voicemail! Go, Bernie, go!
It's been my dream since the launch of Giant Electric Penguin to own my very own ostrich to ride Joust-style through the office. I've also always wanted an executive washroom. My wife vetoed the ostrich pretty quickly--though she did allow me to purchase a hand-crafted lance at the Renaissance Faire last year (Course, how am I supposed to use it without an ostrich...? I know, I know: first world problems.)--but I got my washroom. Check it out. It's wallpapered with garbage!
And check it out: summer interns! Say hi to Ernie and Shirtless Pete.
And how lucky are we?!? This young man maintains this charming coffee/snack shop right next door to the building. He calls himself Napoleon Christ--I'm thinkin' that's a nickname or sumthin'--and he's usually there bright and early each morning, slinging cans, arguing with the demons that live in his hair, and, occasionally, serving a concoction of his own invention that he calls "coffee" made out of newspaper ink, gutter water, and rust. Enough Sweet'N Low, and you'd swear you were at Starbucks.
And here I am, the Big Cheese, happy as a clam at my new work station. This is where the magic happens now people. I couldn't be more excited!
Thanks for sticking with GEP during our recent relocation. We "promise" we won't leave you hanging that long again. We plan to operate from this new base of operations for a good long time.