The last dozen times I've signed onto my Facebook page, I've been confronted with this:
Now, I don't know how you feel about pugs, but I'm fairly indifferent. I've never been around any pugs, but they seem like an OK lot. They've got that "ugly-cute" thing going on that is kind of endearing. Ultimately, I don't have any strong feelings either way, so I admittedly have no idea whether a diehard pug fanatic would wear this shirt or not. This could be the tee pug lovers have been waiting for, as far as I know. For me, however, this shirt is all sorts of creepy.
For one, it kind of looks like a pug's face has been literally ripped from a pug's body and grafted onto a pug-colored t-shirt. It's got this whole Necronomicon vibe going on that grosses me out. I admire the attention to detail, but this t-shirt is the stuff of nightmares. In fact, I had nightmare about this shirt last night. In the dream, I was out at a fancy steakhouse with one-time presidential hopeful Herman Cain. I can't remember what we were talking about, but Cain was dressed in a tuxedo t-shirt and a stovepipe hat. Our waitress delivered our meals -- two juicy, plate-sized medium-rare New York Strips -- and Herman offered to give the blessing. At the completion of the prayer, I moved to "dig in," but noticed my plate was bare. Flabbergasted, I started to complain. Cain, mouth full of his own delicious meat, calmly pointed at my shirt. I looked down and saw that MY LIFELIKE PUG T-SHIRT HAD EATEN MY STEAK and was starting in on my baked potato. When I tried to stop him, my pug shirt began barking at me viciously, snarling and nipping at my fingers with his razor sharp teeth. I punched my pug shirt square in the muzzle, but it kept on barking and biting. I woke up screaming and naked in a puddle of my own urine. So, yeah, the shirt freaks me out a little, I guess.
Big Face T-shirts -- Oh yeah, that's the place to find this nightmare-inducing tee -- offers a wide variety of grafted animal face style t-shirts including gorilla, bunny, and pig, for my money the most horrifying animal face t-shirt money can buy. And there are so many more, but I'll let you experience them for yourself.
As terrifying and gross as Big Face T-shirts animal face collection is, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want this shirt, like, right now:I'd wear this thing every single day, son!