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Monday, September 10, 2012

Coming Soon: Hold Your Breath

I love horror movies, but I haven't seen a good new one in a long time.  I don't mind revisiting my favorite horror flicks again and again (see: Child's Play 2), but something fresh and original wouldn't be so bad.

So, I've been watching a lot of horror trailers lately, hoping for something - ANYTHING - to get excited about.  How did my search go?  Find out all this week in a special feature I'm calling COMING SOON, because that is literally the best I could come up with after a half hour of brainstorming.  Sorry.

Film: Hold Your Breath

Release Date: October 5, 2012

Have you ever driven past a graveyard and had one of your passengers instruct you to hold your breath while doing so?  Afterward, did he/she share with you the urban legend that explains why you just did that dumb thing?  Don't worry if they didn't, because 30 Rock's Katrina Bowden awkwardly explains things in the first 30 seconds of the trailer for this extremely dumb looking movie.

Film Plot (Based on my viewing of the trailer): A group of sexy friends accidentally inhale some evil spirits on their way out of town for a camping trip after failing to hold their breaths while passing a spooky graveyard.  Said sexy friends, now totally possessed, start punching cops and murdering one another in increasingly grisly fashions.  A wise old creep explains everything just before he is disemboweled.

Favorite Trailer Moments:
0:15 - "Oh, check out that old graveyard over there."  That guy is so excited about that graveyard!
0:53 - "Did you hold your breath?"  Really?
1:14 - Katrina Bowden is hot even when she's killing a nerd with a drill.

How It All Ends (Prolly): All of the sexy friends die, except for Bowden, who makes her way back to the city, possessed with evil spirits and itching to drill more nerds in the face.

Theater, Video or No Thank You:  No thank you.

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