Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Look, I don't know what Hollister is, but from what I can tell from the models they use to advertise their products, Hollister makes stylish clothes for beautiful people. Beautiful people who, you know, don't look like Robin William's mated with a sasquatch when they take their shirts off at the pool.
But beautiful people can be dicks. Sometimes the biggest dicks. Take the Hollister models who helped open a store in Yeouido, South Korea this week. Not only did they pose shirtless with fans, some of them snapped additional photos of themselves metaphorically spitting in the faces of those aforementioned fans by giving themselves that classic racist bon mot, the "slanty eyes." You remember the "slanty eyes," don't you? Surely you remember that timeless, unfunny refrain:
Chinese/Japanese/dirty knees/look at these (point at boobies)
If you don't remember that schoolyard rhyme and it's accompanying hand motions/face manipulations, fine. If you do, you know what "slanty eyes" are. You probably also know how terribly offensive "slanty eyes" are now that you are some kind of an adult-aged person. "Slanty eyes" isn't cool. It's dumb and racist and something only jerks in red swimsuits would think was funny. And these Hollister hatemongers did 'em all over town. Stupid, but not terribly shocking. I mean, look at these Hollister models. Doesn't seem to be a lot going on behind the eyes, if you know what I'm saying.
Anyway, this is terrible and these guys are idiots and the citizens of South Korea were appropriately pissed off. But something else about this Yahoo article caught my mind and piqued my interest. See if you can catch it:
It's not the first time that the brand's reality has fallen far short of its utopian, preppy-meets-Cali image. In 2010, several Manhattan Hollister stores reported a bed-bug infestation. And in 2011 there were reports of people getting lost in the dimly lit stores.
What?!? From The Huffington Post:
If you've ever shopped at junior's clothing store Hollister, you know that part of the store's ambience is its house-like interior. After you enter the shop through its "front door," you wander from room to room as if you're walking from your kitchen to your den, checking out different types of clothing. Hollister staff also dim the lights way down to contribute to the "cozy" atmosphere.
But now the trendy light-dimming has gone too far: a Hollister store in England is so poorly lit that people are actually getting lost inside it.
A store in Birmingham, England, apparently got carried away with the mood lighting, because customers are reporting bumping into each other and the store's tables, according to Telegraph.
"I can't see the sizes, I can't see the prices, I can't see the till - I can't see the point," said one cranky customer.
Hollister sounds like one of those haunted houses the Jaycees puts on every year, only instead of overly enthusiastic teenagers in zombie make-up jumping out from behind a bale of hay, you've got shirtless douchebags screaming racial epithets at you. And you've got to buy an overpriced pair of skinny jeans before they let you leave. Ugh.