Monday, October 1, 2012
Feel that? There's something scary in the air. Something scary and gross, and it smells like candy corn.
That's right, it's Octobor, the most infamous month on the Gregorian calendar. This month, we not only celebrate Al Sharpton, Randy Quaid and Amy Jo Johnson's birthdays, but Halloween (i.e., Dan Rather's birthday), the spookiest, most scarifyingly blood-curdliest holiday ever dreamed up by our pagan forefathers.
We here at Giant Electric Penguin love the Halloween season. From its fun-sized candy bars to it's slutty nun costumes. From it's roasted pumpkin seeds to its Walking Dead premieres. From its horror movie marathons to its toilet-papered front yards. We love it all (except, you know, all the evil), that's why we're celebrating the 31 DAYS OF HORROR. It's gonna be a little different this year though. First of all, it won't be just horror movie reviews. We'll also highlight the scariest episodes of your favorite TV shows, take a look at some truly horrifying podcasts, sink our teeth into some truly digusting Halloween treats, and even read some really, true ghost stories around the old campfire that is the World Wide Web. Or should I say, World Wide Spider Web?!? BWA-HA-HA-HA!
Secondly, we won't be doing it every day because of life and laziness and stuff, OK? But you'll get your share of horrors this Halloween. Of that I am quite certain. So, come inside, enjoy yourself, and please do not interact with the employees. They will not touch you, so please do not touch them. Especially not the guy in the mummy costume. He might be on some registry somewhere. We should really fire him.