Thursday, December 6, 2012
"Oh, hey, you guys put up your tree! It looks great! You're telling me this thing is fake? No way. It looks so real. The lights are perfect and everything. It came pre-lit?!? You're putting me on, guys! This is a great looking Christmas--
"Hold on. What's the story with this progeria kid ornament? This one right here. That's who? Dobby? From what?
"Oh, I get it! It was a gag gift from work, right? You guys had an ugly ornament exchange and you got stuck with--
"You bought that? To hang on your tree? Hmmmm...
"Well, I'm going to go now and try really hard not to burn your Christmas tree down before I leave. Oops. I failed. Merry...cough, cough...Christmas...cough...
"Wow, this thing...cough, cough...even goes up in flames...hack, wheeze...like a real tree."
-from a holiday monologue entitled You Put That On Your Christmas Tree? by M. K. Lawson