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Friday, May 31, 2013

I Know I Shouldn't Eat Thee: Wendy's Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger


The Holy Grail has been sought after by knights (both wacky and non-wacky) and ruggedly-handsome, globe-trotting college professors alike for hundreds of years.  From the enchanted forests of King Arthur's England, to the deserts of wherever they were in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, to the far reaches of outer space, both heroes and villains have quested for this ancient, magical cup that once touched the lips of Jesus Christ.  These grail quests are fraught with dangerous peril and imminent decapitations.  They are quests I can do without.  I mean, c'mon, man, it's a cup.

My "Holy Grails" are typically food items, specifically sandwiches.  I have a Rolodex-style apparatus in my head loaded with weird and amazing sandwiches I've seen on Man Vs. Food, Eat St., and Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives that I hope to sample one glorious day.  All I need is a long weekend, a functional GPS, an iPhone crammed with podcasts and an empty stomach, and I'm good to go.  Let the questing begin.

I'm happy to report, however, that one sandwich on this ever-increasing Must-Eat Sandwiches list I've been compiling, will soon be available to the entire world.  That's right, friends: the Wendy's Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger is on the way.

I don't know why, but I've always been drawn to sandwiches made with pretzel bread.  I have a feeling that a lot of people are actually.  I mean, I enjoy soft pretzels, sure, but it's not like I spend each day pining for one.  Months have passed in which I haven't once thought about a soft pretzel.  But if I'm at a restaurant and I see a sandwich that uses a pretzel roll in place of the regular old run-of-the-mill sesame seed bun or what-have-you, I'm immediately intrigued.  "A pretzel roll, huh?  Oh, that is fascinating."  Why is it still fascinating to me?  It shouldn't be.  I've had plenty of sandwiches made on pretzel rolls, and most of them have been highly disappointing.  So, why do I still get wide-eyed and dreamy-voiced?  "Pretzel roll?!?  What a world of wonders we live in!"

I have not had a hamburger on a pretzel roll though.  I've had a hamburger on everything else (sesame seed bun; toasted rye bread; Krispy Kreme doughnuts), but somehow the pretzel burger has eluded me. It's not a wild concept born from the demented brain of a genius burger-making weirdo.  It's not like anybody couldn't come up with it.  It's just a bacon (Oh, yeah.  Bacon, right?) cheeseburger on a pretzel.  And I want one.

(Finding a picture of one of these things in the wild is like looking for pictures of Bigfoot, but I did find one here and here.)


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