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Wednesday, June 26, 2013

What the WTF?!?: Miley Cyrus Descends Into Madness


I don't need mind-altering drugs because I've watched the video for Miley Cyrus' new song "We Can't Stop."  Twice.  Watch it right now, won't you?


Wait, what?  No, really, what?

If you saw the picture of Cyrus at the top of this post and thought, "Oh, here goes Matt about Miley again.  We get it, you like her.  Ugh!" and opted to not watch the video for "We Can't Stop" (alternate title "Fuck You, Dad"), then do yourself a "favor" and watch it.  Need some incentive?  Well, the "We Can't Stop" video may or may not contain the following images:

--a dude nonchalantly eating a money sandwich
--a human head made out of French fries that is subsequently crushed and kicked around at a party of some kind
--two dwarf luchadors square dancing
--Miley Cyrus French kissing a Just My Size Barbie doll
--a bikini-clad woman in a Jason Vorhee's mask threatening people playfully with a party sub
--a man relaxing on a pile of bread and eating the bread
--a beer bottle-shaped pinata full of blunts, I think
--Miley Cyrus covered in cocaine firing a round of paintballs into a bored male models crotch
--GIANT TEDDY BEAR BACK PACKS!!!
--a girl cutting off her own fingers and bleeding Pepto Bismal
--Billy Ray Cyrus weeping in a corner while Miley dumps a box of frozen waffles over his head

Some of that stuff is totally in there, dudes, and you're going to miss it if you blow this post off as another one of my fawning, Miley Cyrus love-a-thons.  To be perfectly honest, I don't exactly love this song.  It's kind of boring and slow.  It's not terrible, but it is a blatant cred-grab that feels all kinds of icky and false.  You'd be a lot cooler, Miley, if you stop trying to remind us how cool you are all the time.

But, anyway, weird video, right?


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