Thursday, September 19, 2013
You’re all a bunch of wannabes, man! I’m an OG Breaking Bad fan. I was watching Walter White and Jesse Pinkman cook meth in the New Mexico desert while the rest of you were still whining about the series finale of The Sopranos (“But what happened to Tony?!? Wah wah wah!”). Nobody was talking about Breaking Bad when I was watching. I didn’t have an outlet to which I could express my shock and awe. I didn’t have any friends I could discuss the latest episode with. Hell, my office doesn’t even have a watercooler! What are we supposed to discuss TV shows around, huh? The microwave?!? Lunacy! Now Breaking Bad is all the rage; the pop culture meth consumed by the masses. You guys think you’re so cool with your Breaking Bad premiere parties and your Breaking Bad podcasts and your Breaking Bad cosplay meet-em-ups. You’re not cool! I was cool! Where were you then, huh?!?
This is what I would write if I were that kind of person. You know: bitter. Yes, I did watch the first season of Breaking Bad when it originally aired, back when it was just Bryan Cranston’s weird follow-up to Malcolm in the Middle. It was TV like I liked it: darkly funny, kinda sad and casually bad-ass. That episode where Walt, head freshly-shaved, visits psychotic drug kingpin, Tuco, with a bag of homemade explosives after Jesse is beaten nearly to death, his comatose body watched over by Skinny Pete, and calmly demands the money he is owed, before tossing a tiny shard of said homemade explosive onto the ground with explosivey results, was one of the coolest moments I had ever witnessed on basic cable, and I had no one to talk to about it.
Here’s a fun fact. That episode I just described? Yeah, I thought that was the last episode of Season 1. Turns out, it isn’t. I discovered this yesterday while watching the actual Season 1 finale on Netflix. This was just the first of several blunders that led me to losing touch with Breaking Bad.
It’s all my fault really. I remember whenever Season 2 was airing, my friend Jonathan asking, “Hey, did see the latest Breaking Bad?”
“Wait, that started again?” I asked, dumbfounded.
“Yeah. Season 3 just started last week.”
“Wait. Season 3?!?”
I should mention here that, yes, I own a DVR and, yes, I know how it works. As to why said DVR was not set to record Breaking Bad, I have no explanation and I have no excuse. I can tell you the terrible tale of how I didn’t get to watch Season 3 of Justified (DVR malfunction; all my episodes were erased; crying ensued), but I don’t have one for Breaking Bad. We simply lost touch, like you do with an old girlfriend or an acquaintance from high school who once made derogatory comments about your sister while two other friends taped him with a video camera.
So, that’s why Giant Electric Penguin hasn’t written anything ever about Breaking Bad. Well, that and I’m only one man and I can’t write about everything. Breaking Bad though is something I should be writing about, I’ve known that for years. So, over the next two weeks, you’re going to see some things (well, one other thing, at least) on the blog related to Breaking Bad, because I guess the series finale is September 29th? I didn’t want to be the only pop culture outlet not talking about the show. That’d just be weird, I think.
I will have you know that I have someone avoided all spoilers and I really would appreciate it if you kept them to yourself. Classically, I’m not the kind of guy who cares about that sorta stuff, but Breaking Bad is pretty special. I recognize, however, that after the series finale it is going to be super hard to avoid them (Twitter is apparently 100% people talking about Breaking Bad now apparently.), so I've started trying to catch up. Obviously, I won't have it all watched by Sunday, but at least I'll cut the time I have to avoid all social media down. I am currently on Episode 5 of Season 2, just to give you a reference point.