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Monday, June 16, 2014

Summer 2014: A TV Extravaganza!!!

SCHOOL’S OUT!!! 

Summer Vacation is finally here, and I’ve already planned the next 2 ½ months.  I’m going to sleep in until noon every day, eat nothing but Cap’n Crunch and Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll Toaster Strudels (I'll throw in the occasional Toaster Scramble for a little variety), and watch TV until my eyes bleed! Sure, I’ll pause my hefty television schedule for occasional trips to the mall for soft pretzels and the latest compact discs from all my favorite pop-punk bands, but chances are, if it’s a weekday and it’s after 12 PM, you’ll find me sprawled out on the sofa in my boxer shorts, beard sticky from strudel cream, watching my favorite TV shows at top volume.  And my mom can’t tell me to stop or force me to mow the lawn because I’m 35-years-old!  Take that, Mom! 

Anyway, I’m filling the pages of GEP with copious amounts of TV-related garbage this summer.  Look for the return of some of your favorite features, the features you’ve been clamoring for, the features you’ve been begging me to bring back in e-mails, Facebook posts and awkward interactions at area restaurants.  100 EPISODES I LOVE, SUMMER OF JOE, even TAWDRY TUESDAY: they’re all coming back (for the summer, anyway)!  And look for the brand-new feature 100 EPISODES I HATE, inspired by what may be the worst episode of Saved by the Bell ever made. 

So, strap on your feedbag, fire up your idiot box and join me on the couch for a summer of TV-related goofarounds and ha-ha's!  Why beat the heat around the community swimming pool when you can stay inside by yourself with a 2-liter of strawberry pop and a Netflix account bursting at the seams with X-Files, Pretty Little Liars and anime for perverts!?! 


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