Hi. My name is Matt, and I've been a bad blogger.
Not really. This current hiatus was planned long ago, following a series of heart-to-heart discussions with my wife, my parents, my pastor and the mountaintop oracle I regularly consult before making important decisions. Producing a blog of Giant Electric Penguin's comedic caliber is hard work for one man, so a vacation was completely justified in my opinion, which is, as we all know, the only opinion that truly matters. I do apologize to the tens of you who visit GEP on a regular basis, for not being upfront about my decision to "abandon ship" for a time, but let it be known, I'm back now and I've got a big announcement, an announcement that basically guarantees hiatuses like the one I am currently wrapping up, are going to be a much more regular occurrence from this point forward. Wait. That isn't good news, is it? Let's talk about Thanksgiving.
With all the horrible, horrible shit going on in the world right now (the Ebola virus; the injustice in Ferguson; the revelation that Bill Cosby is a rapey asshole), it was a pleasure to take refuge at the family table and drown my sorrows in spoonfuls of mashed potatoes, canned corn and sauerkraut this year. It was also nice to share what I was thankful for with my nearest and dearest, a tradition forced upon the Lawsons by our patriarch year after year. I, of course, expressed my thankfulness for the career of Tony Danza, and if you feel that this admission strains credulity, I invite you to ask anyone I shared Thanksgiving dinner with for further information. I should add that after my mother looked at me and exclaimed, "Really?!", I added that I was thankful for everyone at the table, but "no offense, mostly my wife and my daughter."
The truth is, I'm thankful for a lot of things, most of them related to the world of podcasting, but I'm also thankful, to steal my wife's answer, that 2014 is almost over. We went through a lot of shit this year--there was good stuff too, great stuff, but the shit stuff was super shitty!--but it would just be best for us if 2014 would say good-bye already and leave us be. I don't know what else to say about that, but I think I'll use it as a segue into my big announcement.
I'm starting a new blog. I've known from the very beginning that Giant Electric Penguin is too broad, too unfocused, to be a regular stop for anybody who isn't an in-real-life friend or cyberstalker of whom I am not aware--and don't take that the wrong way, cyberstalkers, I love you. I know people happen onto particular articles and posts when I write about something topical (i.e. Taco Bell-related) and I love that, but, for the most part, if people want comical musings on pop culture ephemera, they go straight to the big guns, your AV Clubs, your Cracked.coms, and I get it. I run a rinky-dink operation here--have for six years now--and I don't get to half of the things I want to because I also live the life of a married father with a 40-hour-a-week job and bills to pay. Also, GEP's focus is pretty broad. It's certainly more satisfying than the old personal blog I use to maintain, but, like I said, it's not super focused, which is fine, I don't want it to be.
The new blog will be though. That focus, and this will be a surprise to no one, will be horror, particularly, but not limited to, film and television. It will still be in my voice, there will be plenty of sarcastic asides and personal anecdotes, but it will be concerned with one thing, a thing I'm passionate about and about which I enjoy writing, thinking and analyzing. So, yeah, it's called The Shallow Grave, and there is nothing there right now except an awesome banner my brother-in-law, Jared Clark, made for me, but feel free to check it out. The blog will probably launch in January, but more-than-likely February. There will eventually be a podcast component, but don't get hung up on that just now. And my dream would be to move it away from Blogspot at some point, but right now it's right where it needs to be.
FYI: In 2015, more of this.
So, I hope the tens of you who read my blog will check out The Shallow Grave from time to time, whether or not you enjoy horror, because I think it'll be worth your time. Unless your time is very limited. Then I wouldn't suggest spending much time on the internet at all. You should probably travel. At least go on a hike or something. I think you just need to get outside.
Oh. What's that you asked? Is Giant Electric Penguin going away? Of course not, dummy! GEP is here to stay, in fact, December will probably be pretty exciting around these parts since I'm officially ending my hiatus with this post and I recently started making a watchlist of all the dumb Christmas movies currently streaming on Netflix. As the months go by though, you'll probably see less on GEP and more on Shallow Grave, but I still need a place to rant about the Duggars, bitch about songs I hate and shower unconditional love upon the pop culture I adore.
That's what's going on around here. Thanks for reading. And thank you, Tony Danza, for being a class act! You truly are the boss!